End of the Weekend

It is 6:50 a.m. here in Georgia, aside from the fact, I am still tired, I am happy to report that last night's dinner stayed in my belly, instead of in the toilet or trash can, where most of my meals have been making their appearance lately.

Not that anyone has a desire to hear about a pregnant woman's morning sickness, but I think this is something seriously "underrated" in most of your pregnancy journals, i.e. What to Expect When You're Expecting.

I think everyone expects or "waits" for the nausea, so often heard about, when they are pregnant. I know I did. I had heard stories about family members who had morning sickness or had certain aversions to foods. This is all, of course, coupled with the desire to eat many other items.

That ALL being said, I had NO IDEA it would be like this. I think God definitely knew what he was doing when he had me "lose" my job in January. There is no way on this Earth that I could have held a normal 9 to 5 job this past month. Granted, I'm a Cracker Barrel server, a position not a lot of people with a master's degree consider. However, considering the fact I can sleep in, I have an infinite number of foods from which to choose to eat, and most of your customers are sympathetic to the fact that I am expecting. Since, I don't wear my wedding ring to work, they probably think I'm another unwed single mother and therefore need to leave me a bigger tip. Personally, I'm okay with that.

So, let me give you some 10 frustrations, facts, comments about being pregnant.

1. The belly touching thing is weird. I don't even have a belly yet and when people find out I'm pregnant, they suddenly want to tickle, touch, or otherwise "rub" the house for your unborn child.
   
2. You are tired, exhausted, worn-out, pooped, or another word that describes this feeling, for the first…well, for a LONG time. I'm in week 13 right now, and I still could sleep like Rip Van Winkle. Right now, it's 7:01 a.m. and I cannot wait for MacKenzie to leave the house at 7:40, just so I can crawl back into bed. After I drink a gallon of Maalox.
   
3. Maalox becomes your friend very quickly. Even vegetables give me heartburn these days. Some foods do not give me heartburn…here I have a 50% chance of them ending up in the trash can.
   
4. Throwing up sucks! I had not thrown up a long time until Christmas. I got the stomach flu right after Christmas at my parents house and spent a lot of time in the bathroom (along with my Dad and Mitch, mom, ironically enough was spared). Morning sickness is different. When you have the stomach flu, this little part of your brain goes "Hey! Don't eat for 24 hours and you'll be just fine." Sure enough, 24 hours later, you are back to normal (or close to being back to normal). With morning sickness, you are still really hungry. At least I am. You also get sick at the mere sight of some foods (chicken, pork, and green beans, for me, right now). And crave others as if they were the best things on Earth.
   
5. Cravings. I don't have too many. Except for Whopper Junior Cheeseburgers. They are REALLY good. As are the French fries. The bonus is, this food, always stays down and doesn't cause me heartburn.
   
6. So, in 9 months, my cholesterol is going to be through the roof. Who cares?!
   
7. And I might be as big as a house, probably not, but again, who cares? If one MORE person tells me that pregnancy is not about eating for 2, I'm going to rip their eyeballs out. I KNOW THAT! My girlfriend in Germany said "People who say they are eating for 2, are eating for themselves, and their fat asses." This is true, this second person, currently snacking on whatever tidbits of food end up I the umbilical cord weighs about 2 ounces. It's quite natural to say they probably need less.
   
8. But, regardless, I am using this pregnancy to eat whatever I want. I have spent the past 6 years of my life, shrinking my body down to the point where I could fit through the holes in a screen door. So, give me a break, if I suddenly desire an ice cream sundae. Do you know when the last time was I had one and DIDN'T feel guilty? Back off.
   
9. Names…ahh names. We are naming her LaFonda Moongazer, if it is a boy, it will be Ta&ji Deliverance (not a misspelling, the & is silent). Are you kidding me? Of course we aren't going to name them after a Napoleon Dynamite character or a military base in Northern Iraq. Just don't ask or give advice, you'll find out after the baby is born.
   
10. We are up in the air about finding out the sex. I would love a little girl, but I'm fairly certain I'm having a boy. That being said, some days we want to know, others we don't. Does it make shopping easier for family and friends? Of course it does…but I didn't know this was about them.
    

I'm not trying to be cynical or mean, there is just a lot of stuff that you don't expect when you are pregnant. I just wish the books covered it more, such as a good response to "Is this Mitch's baby?" I almost want to say, "Nope, he was gone 13 months, but I waited until he came HOME to cheat on him and get pregnant." In the words of the great Maury Povich, "Mitch Brannen, you…..are the father!"

As Mitch has detailed, we are headed to Disney world, in less than 2 weeks. Right now, I am still scheduled to run the 5K Saturday morning, although I will admit, sleeping in until 8 a.m. or so, does feel like a much better option right now, so we'll see. Even pregnant there is a lot of stuff I can do at Disney, minus the Tower of Terror or drinking my way around Epcot. Mitch and I have actually discussed getting me a wheelchair in the evenings, mainly because I get so exhausted so easily.

So, I'm bidding you all adieu now, so I can get MacKenzie off to school to take her Terra Nova exams. It's good to see modern day schools still using the archaic, mass, standardized testing module, proved ineffective so many years ago.

Till next time,

Betsey